This weeks blog post has two parts. First, I will be rewriting a scene of action from Bullet in the Brain (Tobias Wolff). The story was about a man who walked into a crowded bank. Two robbers end up coming in and the man instigates them which leads to him getting shot in the head. I will create a different scene within that story. Then, I will be composing a scene showing action in my current life. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Flat, washed out grey clouds lay across the sky like a blanket. Thin slivers of blue are struggling to peak through. Anders dragged his cranky self to the bank just before closing. There was a line almost out the door. He let out an annoyed breath of air and stood behind some woman who seemed to be whining about something he didn’t care about. Indeed, she was. “Can you believe that bank teller closed her station with all of these customers to be taken care of? Ugh!!!” she complained. “Unforgiveable. Heaven will take note” Anders responded, sarcastically. Her face, surprised, stared at him, and them stared past him. Suddenly her skin went white. “NOBODY MOVE AND NOBODY WILL GET HURT!” Two men, drenched in black all the way to their facemasks bolted through the bank doors. The room was robbed of any noise besides their scratchy, bold voices and deep breaths from the scared victims. Anders was one cocky man. He was not even phased by these men, surprisingly, he found them to be comical. He embraced a smirk growing across his face while the two robbers screamed at the customers. “You think I’m some kind of clown? You think you can fuck with me?” The man questioned Anders. “No.” “Fuck with me again, you’re history. Capiche?” The man said. Anders bursted out with an obnoxious laugh. The mans face went from olive to beat red. He twirled his gun out from his dainty jean pocket and into the palm of his sweaty hand and darted over towards Anders, who was still rocking that smirk. “That’s it!!!!” He screamed. The man was booking it towards him. Anders did a little side-step to the right, and wrapped his arms around his neck. With all his strength, Anders threw the man into one of the marble pillars. CRACK! Everyone in the bank gasped. The man laid still on the floor as a pool of blood began creeping out from underneath. He looked up only to see the camera had already been shot at. He took a minute to stare at the mythological creatures on the ceiling he had never noticed before. The woman who was in front of him in line began vomiting. Anders, not even the slightest bit flustered, looked around for the other burglar. He was more focused on grabbing the money and getting the hell out of there. So Anders decided to do the same. He walked out of the bank and back into the grey world. “Maybe I’ll try out the other bank tomorrow” he said. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I can literally feel the vibrations of the music throughout my entire body. My heart is pounding to the beat of the beat. The man on stage is leaking sweat from head to toe. His blue and red flannel gets unbuttoned while his mullet slicks down onto the back of his neck. I’m taking a sip as I’m jamming out to Morgan Wallen’s beautiful voice, accompanied by Dewey Beach’s finest voices in the background. Yet again, the ice cold drink lands directly on my shirt. I am now desperately scoping the room for a damn straw.
“HEY!!! Where’d you get that straw?!!!” I startled this short girl who is standing in front of my best friend Dana. “In the bathroom!” She responds. I give her a look of confusion, but at this point I don’t really care. I’m on a mission. Straw!!! Dana and I walk into the bathroom, and we both are looking in awe. In a bathroom, I know. But this is not just any bathroom!! The counter top is over-crowded with everything and anything a girl might need. From candy, to perfume, hair supplies, gum, lotion, and straws!! I grab it and plop it into my drink. “Oh, just leave a tip and you can take whatever you want!” A small voice says from behind us. I turn around and see a nice lady sitting in the corner. She has a pink cloth outfit on with dainty white sandals. Her hair is permed and her face is glowing. She is wearing a necklace that seems to be very old. It’s a brass owl with yellow eyes. “My name is Keesha, by the way. I was once you two girls. I always wondered why nobody thought of this back in my day. I hope you girls found what you needed” Keesha said, “I found this necklace in here months ago and for some reason it inspired me”. “This is amazing. You are such a great person for doing this all out of your own time and money!” Dana responds, as she throws in a 20$ bill. “Oh sweetheart thank you. Have a blessed evening!” We are walking out of the bathroom with smiles on our face. She gives off a vibe of such wisdom and pureness. There are good people in this world.
3 Comments
Sabatino
9/24/2018 02:43:48 pm
I appreciate how both portions of this blog post provide twists that can keep the reader engaged in the material.
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Amir
9/30/2018 10:51:32 am
Your rewrite of the Anders vs. Robber confrontation was really fascinating with an interesting twist of events, with Anders still bent on getting his money after all that and turning the tables on the robber, assuming that really went on in your version
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Ryan Boyer
10/1/2018 06:49:44 pm
Both interesting stores were told with good detail and was fun to read!
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